I’m exhausted, so pardon me if my grammar and general writing skills are crap for this one. I’m desperately trying to stay awake through a fatigue attack. Fatigue attack? I’m not sure that’s the word for it. It’s a relatively new development over the past month. At least once a day I will suddenly become extremely fatigued, to the point where I will fall asleep regardless of location or time. It’s not like ordinary exhaustion. I’m not just sleepy. It’s this overpowering heaviness. I can’t support my body in an upright position, I can hardly keep my eyes open, my limbs feel like lead. It’s nuts. I’m learning that I can stay awake through it if I write.
I know, you’re probably thinking, “Jeez, girl, if you’re that tired, you should just sleep!” The issue is that once I’m asleep, I’m still mentally conscious and I feel trapped inside my body for a few HOURS, unable to pull myself back to full consciousness. It happened when Will was here once and he couldn’t even shake me awake. He had to put on loud rock music to pull me out of it. It’s rough and a bit scary. So hey, how’s it going, peeps? *blinks hard*
I did my final exam on Friday. Three hours of physical geography, from 7-10pm. Not my favorite time slot, I will admit. Worst of all, I had one of these fatigue attacks in the middle of my exam! It was my second of the day. Perhaps stress brings them on. Thank god I’d studied intensely and had blown through most of the questions. I was going back through to deliberate on three particular questions I hadn’t had a clue about when it hit. It was like I described above. I knew that if I managed to fight it for the first 10-15 minutes, I’d be okay. So I was sitting there, staring at my paper intensely, my vision blurred to the point where I couldn’t read my booklet (yeah, that’s another fun side effect) until the proctor noticed and came to ask me if I was alright. I was okay after another moment and was able to finish the exam. Good grief. I don’t intend to do any long drives until this goes away.
Overall, today has been a great day with a few miserable 20-second chunks. Trying not to let those colour the rest of it. I worked all morning on SEO and social media stuff. The hedgehog FELL OFF THE BED and I had a minor heart attack. She’s fine. She just stuck her face out of the hat she rolled over in and blinked at me sleepily as if to say, “What happened? That was rude.” Later I went out on a bit of a shopping spree. All necessary things, all paid for with the last bit of busking money that I’m trying to get rid of. Not enough for a coin roll, but too much to give away. Now I’m the proud owner of a zebra t-shirt, to be worn in May for EDS awareness month. I also bought little locally-crafted gifts for friends and family in India, tipped a busker (with busking money, ha), and spent the rest of my change on paint. I’ve had this canvas hanging in my room for months, all drawn up and ready to go, but I’ve been deliberating. And broke. I painted her up this afternoon, but it’s terrible, I can’t show you. I always paint something most of the way, decide I hate it and it’s awful, stomp off in a grump, and then return the next day to fix it. In the end, I fall in love with it.
Miserable 20-seconds: I’ve been dislocating like a wooden puppet all day and have been grumpy about it. Walking was a challenge again today, even though it’s been better for a month. Hrmph.
Other miserable 20-seconds: Just some crummy people online with nothing better to do than whack at people they don’t know. Asked a question about EDS in an EDS group and was called a S****-stirring ableist. I don’t know why it got to me; typically I don’t pay attention. I suppose it’s because I feel like I’ve found a group and was excited to meet others in similar situations and become a part of the community. That got a little shot down.
We can’t let the crummy twenty seconds interfere with the rest of a perfectly good day, though, can we? :) All is well with this evening. Thanks for waking me up.
Stay tuned, I have a pretty fun post coming up soon!