It snowed today, crisp white crystals sailing down from above to stick to my scarf, my hat, my umbrella, my tongue. The first snow of the season. Do the weather gods know that we haven’t celebrated Halloween yet? I suppose they play by their own rules. I wonder if I should change my costume to something warm. A steampunk girl? A pumpkin Queen? We’ll see.
The snow has me thinking about time, the seasons, and the future. I’ve been in a mood lately. I don’t know if it’s that I’m tired of university or simply excited for what’s ahead. Living in the present is completely boring, even if it is important. My present is monotonous. Each week is a replica of the last, with one or two brief interruptions. I teach on a schedule. I am taught on a schedule. I wake up at 8am and work until 8pm every day. My courses blend into each other until I can’t remember which assignment belongs to which class. I feel like a robot.
- Wake up. Feel instantly frustrated with the fact that today will be just like last Thursday.
- Morning chores, breakfast, give the hedgie her weekly bath.
- Walk 30 minutes to school.
- Spend 3-8 hours at school
- Walk home
- Work and/or study until I’m exhausted. Remember to eat.
- Netflix, then bed.
Over, and over, and over again. Once a week I’ll meet up with a friend, and weekends are time for rest. This is the life of scheduled stability folks said I was missing out on? I wouldn’t exactly call it “missing out.” Schedules without a dash of wildness suck. I can’t wait to get back to spontaneity, adventure, and last-minute plans.
But today, it snowed.
It may feel like I’m living the same week over and over again. Yet, today I had proof that time is still passing. The year 2016 is already almost at its end. I’m already over halfway through fall term. In just a month and a half, I’ll move out of the Hobbit Hole and into a shared house a full 15 minutes closer to Queen’s. One monotonous week after another will tick by, and eventually my third year in university will be over and I’ll spend the summer saving for my post-graduation adventures. I’ve heard that it’s important to live in the moment and fully immerse yourself in the time you’re in. But how do you do that when you’re living through a necessity that will allow you to have the life you actually want? How do you find a way to deeply be a part of a moment that you can’t wait to see completed? It seems like all I can do right now is think about my life after university. I want to housesit around Europe, save money, learn to invest, travel, build my blog, and direct my own learning. There’s also this idea about a french bulldog that’s floating around up there, rather nonsensically.
University is all well and good. I have friends. I like my classes. I like my profs. My grades are fine. The campus location is great. But this is nothing compared to the real world. I can’t wait to pop the university bubble and free myself again, to travel where I want, to have the time to build my own work and explore my own interests, to get started on my own adventures.
Just one more first snow of the season here at Queen’s.